Failed space time experiment

Yes dear readers I have this weekend failed to challenge the space / time theory. Doubtless on the maths and physics owned on blogs nearby such a futile attempt could be rapidy halted. However, faced with a growing demand to be at 59 North this weekend, I decided, for reasons known best to me, to be in my little homestead at around 54 North. Quite why I decided to go ahead with this experiment must remain a darkly kept secret, but suffice to say that armed with neither rocket nor time machine I proved quite resoundingly that:

1. One cannot be in two places at one time no matter how much the exponents wish it to be.
2. One should bite at least one of the bullets.
3. If 2 above is not applied then one will, inexorably end up biting two bullets and
4. that is moe than one can chew.

Today therefore dear readers I sit chewing bullets and spitting bits of bullet casing. Yumm the taste of cordite, and hark the spring birds are singing in the sunshine whilst I am mostly writing blah for the vikings.

Cold?

My my it's cold out there... a comment on life not the weather! Actually, 59 North is quite warm now and Stockholm is looking springy.

59 North

Yes, dear readers it's Sunday night and I'm in Stockholm. I arrived here via Prague having eaten the same airline meal twice although on one ticket it was billed as a "snack" and on the other a "meal". How strange. Being a good eastern European affair it consisted of cheese and ham although on both occasions I found quarter of a tomato hidden under the cheese so that will be my vitamins for the week. In any event Czech air do have the edge on cabin staff. If you have ever flown with SAS and faced the indignant wrath of the middle aged Helgas, one suddenly appreciates a smiley face with no wrinkles and the offer of a top-up! Not an ageist comment as I am middle aged with wrinkles too, but hopefully a tad more approachable than the Helgas :-}

Meanwhile elsewhere in the world...Big Fellow has passed. Well done Big Fellow. I may now legitimately address Big Fellow as "Sir" out of deference to an esteemed controller... despite what it says in CAP 413!

Little Fellow is walking mightily and I suspect walked his equivalent of the London Marathon whilst quacking, mooing, bhaaaing and clip-clopping.

Anyway, first day at actually changing the Vikings tomorrow. No more talking about it...now it is time for doing it. I'll be there at 0800 to see which of the 3 dozen or so turn up on time having read the brief. So. If I was them I wouldn't float in around 10.30 asking what this is all about. After all, I left home at 12.30 on Sunday and ate cheese and ham all day. Reasonable I think?

Back to the Arctic and Time to change

From The City where all is warm and sunny and Mark Life has mostly been Park Life.

As my dear readers will know I have admonished my client up hill and down fjord, sometimes with mixed results. However, I'm back in the Frozen wilderness next week as I believe they may be about to act on my admonishments. Hurrah (Professionally) (Humbug for my life), as I look forward to the next few weeks of rollmop herring and cheese.

However, in another turn of events I think I may relieve the concrete lego building of my services, so I suspect my sojurn may be short lived. Ten weeks should see them defined and ready to deploy so at that point I will probably take my leave and offer my labour elsewhere. The list of elsewheres is quite small but I will keep you informed.

Meanwhile expect reports from 59 North.

Drop it!

Over on another blog, not many degrees from this one, I notice a fine comment. ".....and I began tackling the spare bedroom".

There. You see. One should clearly approach the subject of re-decorating rooms as if it were a Rugby Match, and at the team talk before it all kicks off one should hand the responsibility for that room fairly and squarely on the full-backs......."As soon as that room shows it's wallpaper I want to see two of you drop it and come out of the ruck with the paste brush. No half-hearted tackles mind...I'm not having that room wandering all over the house playing a loose game. Drop the b****r as soon as it comes near.

Way to go.

I love Bella...and Should I bring Myyyrrrrhhh

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, Jyce came round yesterday and spotted the step-ladder, commenting on how handy it would be. I mentioned that I had decorated the kitchen and she looked round and said "well, it's very nice but it didn't really need it" but. it. oh never mind. Kato!!!

Introducing Bella.

As some of you know dear readers, I recently swapped one fine Gentlemans carriage for another. (The trend here is that both are manufactured in England) see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MINI_(BMW).

I think it takes a little while to get to know one's new carriage but now Bella and I (after Bella Tromba.... famous Park Lane band) are driving nicely....However, I notice that Bella growls, much like Little Fellow. At much less than 3500 rpm she hums along nicely...as a background to the rythm of the road. But, when prompted Bella growls too.... as if to say "are there dragons ahead? I'll growl at them" And growl she does; up to a real blues-bordering on jazz, stage ripping note that would fairly scare any dragon...and should the dragon be slightly left or right of track she can easily alter course, still growling, but with a squeal of delight. Lovin' it.

One other observation from today, dear readers, brings us back to rocket science. There is a very bright object in the Western sky about 095 deg. / 20 deg. azim. at nightfall. I have noticed this for the last month and either:

1. It's time to mount up the camel and travel a long way armed with a goodly quantity of Myrrh, (if I can find an honest Myrrh dealer in Yellow Pages) Or:


2. It's possibly MIR the space station as it reaches the end of it's days.

Any guidance, dear readers, gratefully received. Mir? Myrrh? What do you think?

Oh, and ps

It wan't all buurrmb disposal duty. Oh No. On Easter Sunday I did mostly go and check out Mu-mu land. It was still cosy from the aforementioned boiler reconstitution, and I did narrowly avoid (with great charsima and last-minute body-swerve) the leg of lamb (out of deference to Pinga who is not a great cat for lamb) in favour of the beef.

Yes, dear readers I am happy to report that the roast beef and Yorkies were eating nicely at Mu-mu land. Would have been a 10/10 had I not had a hand in it. Still tradition's done and it was still a good 7/10.

G'night.

The aftermath

First of all dear readers, I must admit I haven't quite got the hang of the technology, so for all of you who have left comments, you will get published soon. To Si, Beccy, Jonath, Steph, Adina, Bridgitte, Tony Blair, etc. etc. PLEASE.... Don't stop leaving them...it's just a short term tech problem, and I along with 700 of my technology colleagues will rectify this situation.

On the other hand if technology worked as it does in real life the series Twenty Four could never have existed "Hey this is Jack Bauer..move the delta 1 satellite over my current 20 and make sure you get clear positions on all the baddies".." His phone call would have been much better spent telling Michelle Dressler (Reiko Aylesworth) that Jyce had Jyced the homestead and could he pop round for a cup of tea please. (Well I would have)

Meanwhile, I know my viewing public would like to see a weekend with detail of more theatre, restaurants, film and rocket science. Yes. And So would I. Many a place I could have reviewed. Many a theatre I could have criticed. However, all I have to offer is a recollection of B&Q. But I won't bore you. I have removed all traces of the Jyce buurrmmb from the kitchen. It wasn't easy....but next time Jyce turns up, having spent all her mis-gotten Euros down the Bier-Kellers of Germany, I shall be quite calm and not give anything away. That's best with Kato and Jyce I think.

And as for my non-communicative friend at the Theatre? Well, suffice to say dear readers ..in the words of Graham Nash...A man's a man who looks a man right between the eyes.. http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/crosby_stills_nash_young/right_between_the_eyes.html

LSD in my marmalade

Today I decided to make a smoothie for breakfast. I mix raspberrrys, blackberries, blue berries, cranberry, creme fraiche and sparkling water. Its yummy. Well anyway I popped it all in the blender which looked perfectly normal...so you can see what's coming next.

Jyce, (who is a dear and comes round to Jyce my house and shirts every week) had Jyced the blender back together as a booby trap so it flew up in the air launching the ingredients of the smoothie in a stunning whirl of colours. They seemed to travel quite slowly and went up the wall, reminding me vaguely of the jungle being napalmed, down my dressing gown, and looped almost laconically in the direction of the fridge. Clearly at this early stage, I wasn't fully awake and I was like whoa, what's occuring...either the ingredients want to get back in the fridge or someone has put LSD in my marmalade! However, having sniffed the marmalade and then inspected the blender I decided that Jyce can sometimes replicate the characteristics of Kato. I left the kitchen muttering "not now Kato this is not the time"

All of this prompted me to return to the kitchen and decide I should redecorate. Damn. Perhaps there was after all something in the marmalade.

Little fellow, Big fellow and Bologna

Today dear readers I took Little Fellow to the park, and I am happy to report he is back on-form. He challenged mightily the electricity substation for we fear it holds dragons or certainly something which captures his imagination such that it needs a damn good growling at. And growled he did..until he was distracted by cake and moved valliantly on to feed cake to the ducks...quacking mightily as he went lest thay should not notice the largesse of the cake.

Later after quacking and growling, I enjoyed one of Mol's classic dishes. Always a favourite, the Bolognaise was eating very nicely and along with a solid red I felt heartened. A good 7/10 and with a little inside tip this could go on to reach the heights.

A brief conversation with Big Fellow revealed another good week in blip control and preparations in hand for the distaff invasion. Go on Big Fellow co-ordinate them up Beaulieu and down Hengistbury. You can do it.

Anyway, after Bol, Jonath returned and made visuals of the data stored within my music-pod the like of which no man has ever seen. Some of the data was apparently legible to a mortal man, how strange is that.

ps Happy (late) Birthday Jonath.

So, a day of quacking and growling, Bolognaising and chatting. Good start to the weekend then.

No Revision

Today I have mostly been working. At home but still working which is v. frustrating becuase formally I'm on holiday. Still, around the year 1000 a.d. the vikings would invade, raping and pillaging as they went and I don't suppose the defenders of our lovely shores could say "sorry, I'm having a day off" So, like the good citizens of that time I rise to battle armed only with my wit, pitchfork and a handful of words. (And none of my words are Scandinavian apart from Hej which doesn't actually cut much slack in battle!!)

As some of you may know, and indeed may have experienced, I am occasionally wont to cut the surly bonds of earth and reach for the face of God, and whislt flying aircraft can be hugely satisfying it is also extremely demanding and exacting. Thus we must and should have our skills overseen frequently by an examiner, which is now due.

But today whilst I should have been revising the systems, VMCA and touch drill procedures of a PA 31 I was fending off the vikings and I am not ready to do my renewal. This, dear readers, is hugley frustrating as it has put instructor and examiner in bad humour. And not only that it means I was sat at my desk instead of trolling round the clouds. It is a bad day dear reader which keeps one from the air and I am thus in extremely bad humour.

I am in need of demeanour adjustment!

Difficult Theatre and Difficult People

Well, dear readers, I now move onto another theatre review...this time "The Caretaker" http://www.officiallondontheatre.co.uk/shows/display?contentId=92115

I like to have my thoughts challenged....and this one challenges. There is something very disturbing about the scenario and whilst it is humorous in places I think I find it distasteful to laugh at poverty and deprivation combined with general social dis-function. In one very powerful and arresting scene, Aston, played by Con O'Neill reveals that he underwent ECT see http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/460864.stm This scene summarises a most callous mental healthcare approach which justified my discomfort, and a tribute to Pinter and the players for tackling a difficult subject so compellingly. For this alone dear readers the play is worth watching. Don't expect huge big laughs though. I think this is a good 7/10 which will not become mainstream.

As you can imagine one left the theatre in need of having one's spirits lifted. Interestingly, on this occasion I found that life also can throw up some challenging scenarios and I could very easily have taken offence. I mean, I don't think I'm a difficult person to get on with and I do try my best to be both honest and personable but dear me some people are so ignorant that they really don't deserve to be in my company and deserve to be told so. To avoid eye contact for a whole evening, make single word (read monosyllabic) conversation and show no single effort to civility is quite an achievement. I guess I am being hypocrictical because I suspect that the behaviour mentioned is also a manifestation of a level of disfunctionality or an unspoken motive so perhaps I should be more charitable.

Which leaves only one question really....How did I come to be in that particular company. That, dear readers is a whole other subject, haven't heard the last of etc. not quite due for publication just yet.

Blips and Beer

The following day I was very pleased to be a guest at the training centre for those esteemed blip controllers, and a hugely interesting day it turned out to be. Having received some of the blip controllers services (albeit in a very modest capacity) I was intrigued to know how they learn their trade and watched with fascination and admiration at the deftness of this skill, which ultimately can only be likened to a very dark art or a mysterious craft. Few professions can have such a demanding set of rules which must be applied extremely accurately and with high levels of mental and verbal dexterity. For, dear readers, a strange phenomenon was revealed to me...the blips appear to be magnetic, and unless they are actively commanded otherwise they will inexorably converge.

It was very satisfying to witness Si commanding the blips so authoratively, and it made me hugely proud. It seemed to me that the blips under Si's control had no doubt at all that they would not be converging as they were commanded up CHARD and down PEWSI until they were all safely tucked up in Seaton.

My thanks to Si for the invitation to watch and learn and to all the other ladies and gents controlling their blips (and blip drivers too) for sharing their dark art.

Later, after such excitement, we retired for a pleasant evenings stroll round B'mouth, stopping occasionally to quench our thirst. I was struck by what a fascinating set of people the blip controllers are, equally interesting when blipping or quenching. Also, I couldn't help noticing that like the blips, some of the blip controllers also seem to converge too with one or two showing little or no separation. Good job they don't fit the blip controllers with TCAS then!!

I..... Lane Pie

So...a busy weekend. Starting off well with a quick trip to a private and secluded restaurant on I****d Lane. Unfortunately Dear readers this is such an exclusive place we are unable to reveal the exact l0ocation. For those lucky select few who have dined here...you missed at treat. The fish pie was eating superbly. A nicely done spinnach base adds piquance to the pie and the whole dish is well rounded, nicely textured and well presented.

I think it is also worth adding that when massive brain power was needed the following morning....the brain was clearly up to speed, fuelled by the evenings pie.

My thanks to the owners for their excellent hospitality A very well earned 9/10. We hear that the owners may be moving on. We will miss the cosiness of the bijou dining room, but hope to continue visiting the new venue.